Changes

I have constant anxiety right now.  I don't know what is going on with my job, and I have my girlfriend moving in with me in a few weeks.  I really hope everything will turn out ok, but maybe it won't.  Then what?

Hopefully, I move to a new place will be in order, and new surroundings will be good for us.  Maybe Portland, or Austin.  I'll work, and continue to work on my degrees.  Then I will move on to my masters.  I know we can make things work, but I am nervous about things.  

Back to Basics

I feel restless, and ready to do something new.  I have had this feeling allot lately.  It seems like there is something waiting for me to see it.  Something better. Something more fulfilling.  How will I know when it presents itself to me?  Will I be ready for the challenge?  

I think that I am not being pushed professionally, and creatively.  Maybe it is time to stop waiting for something, and get out and find it.  I need to try new things, and get out of my comfort zone.  Hopefully that will help me satisfy these feelings. 

The last thing that I want to be is a thirty year old man who has has let everything come to me.  I want to be the type of person who has gone and grabbed what I want in life.

I think that I have not gotten enough out of my life up to this point.  From this point on, I will start to do what I think will make me feel satisfied, and content.  I have just been going with the flow, and that stops now.

Guilty Traveler

I’m sitting in the Taipei airport right now, and I am wondering why I didnt do more here.  Sure, I was visiting my girlfriend, but I think I didnt experience that much.  We did travel by train, and that was eye opening to say the least.  I did try the local food, and I could not liove here for that reason.  Western food is ridiculously expensive, and their local food is really cheap.  The thing is that I can’t use chopsticks that well, and I dont feel satisfied when I’m finished.  The other thing is that they have meat in everything.  That makes me really sick.  I had to eat meat while I was here, otherwise it was candy and potato chips all day.

Being here really makes me appreciate what I do have, and it also makes me feel like I have way more that I need.  I think I need to minimize my life soon.  I feel guilty living in a place that twenty people over here could live in, and I am all by myself.  I know that it is our culture to have more that we need, but it makes me feel really wasteful.  

Hopefully I can make these changes soon to avoid a guilty concise.

Basketball should be fun again.

Nike and Kobe Bryant have put out 2 new commercials for his new shoe.  To put it frankly, Nike has hit a home run with these.  They are hysterical, and very creative.  Along with the new Lebron James adds, Nike is making NBA basketball fun again.  The very thought of this makes me happy.  When I was growing up, the NBA was the most popular sport among my friends.  These days, it seems the perception of NBA players is that they are overpaid thugs.   I remember Michael Jordan, and David Robinson, not Letrell Sprewell, and Ron Artest.  I am very happy Nike is making an effort to make the NBA fun again.  Basketball is my favorite sport by far, and I will admit it has lost its flair in recent years.  Hopefully these adds, along with exciting players like Kobe, Lebron, and Dewayne Wade will make the NBA exciting for younger fans again.

Chineese New Year

Next Friday I will be heading to Taiwan for Chinese New Year.  The purpose of this trip is to visit my girlfriend, Josalyn.  She has been living there for six months as an English teacher.  I am super nervous, and excited at the same time.  First off, I have planes, and the thought of traveling for over 24 hours really bums me out.  I have been to that area of the world before, and the flights were really awful.  I am not looking forward to doing that again.  Secondly, I am nervous to Josalyn again.  We talk quite frequently over Skype, and email one another often, but this is no replacement for personal interaction.  I hope everything goes smoothly, and we do not encounter too many difficulties as we travel around the island.

I really enjoy experiencing new things once I get there, but the anxiety, and nervousness of traveling is awful.  I hope to see allot over there, and hopefully relax at the same time.

Resolutions

This will be the first year that I will take my resolutions seriously.  In previous years I would set the usual goals like; loose weight, save money, and so on.  This year I am going to set goals that actually mean something to me.  

1. Stay Positive - This is something that I really need to work on.  There are many times were I will join in when people are complaining about something.  Doing this always brings me down, and I feel worse when the conversation is over.  I am going to try and either change the direction of the conversation, or not join in at all.  Hopefully, this will not only make a change in the way I feel, but it will also have a positive effect on those around me.
2. Stay Vegetarian - First off, not eating meat makes me feel great.  Secondly, it makes me feel like I am making a little bit of a difference.  This is a very hard stance to take.  Many times, people criticize me for not eating meat.  They think that its stupid, and pointless.  There are even times when they tell me that it is “gay” to not eat meat.  When I hear these things it simply cannot make me any more upset.  There are other times when I feel like just giving in and starting to eat meat again, just to shut them up.  Hopefully, I will stay true to what I believe, and not give in.

There are a few more things that I want to accomplish this year, but these two are the most important to me.  I will really make an honest effort to keep things n the back of my mind all year, and stay true to what I believe in.