Changes

I have constant anxiety right now.  I don't know what is going on with my job, and I have my girlfriend moving in with me in a few weeks.  I really hope everything will turn out ok, but maybe it won't.  Then what?

Hopefully, I move to a new place will be in order, and new surroundings will be good for us.  Maybe Portland, or Austin.  I'll work, and continue to work on my degrees.  Then I will move on to my masters.  I know we can make things work, but I am nervous about things.  

Back to Basics

I feel restless, and ready to do something new.  I have had this feeling allot lately.  It seems like there is something waiting for me to see it.  Something better. Something more fulfilling.  How will I know when it presents itself to me?  Will I be ready for the challenge?  

I think that I am not being pushed professionally, and creatively.  Maybe it is time to stop waiting for something, and get out and find it.  I need to try new things, and get out of my comfort zone.  Hopefully that will help me satisfy these feelings. 

The last thing that I want to be is a thirty year old man who has has let everything come to me.  I want to be the type of person who has gone and grabbed what I want in life.

I think that I have not gotten enough out of my life up to this point.  From this point on, I will start to do what I think will make me feel satisfied, and content.  I have just been going with the flow, and that stops now.

Guilty Traveler

I’m sitting in the Taipei airport right now, and I am wondering why I didnt do more here.  Sure, I was visiting my girlfriend, but I think I didnt experience that much.  We did travel by train, and that was eye opening to say the least.  I did try the local food, and I could not liove here for that reason.  Western food is ridiculously expensive, and their local food is really cheap.  The thing is that I can’t use chopsticks that well, and I dont feel satisfied when I’m finished.  The other thing is that they have meat in everything.  That makes me really sick.  I had to eat meat while I was here, otherwise it was candy and potato chips all day.

Being here really makes me appreciate what I do have, and it also makes me feel like I have way more that I need.  I think I need to minimize my life soon.  I feel guilty living in a place that twenty people over here could live in, and I am all by myself.  I know that it is our culture to have more that we need, but it makes me feel really wasteful.  

Hopefully I can make these changes soon to avoid a guilty concise.